Blind
by fourthelement
Summary: Max," I whispered. "Promise me that I'll see you when I come back." That was the first promise to me that Max ever broke. But I guess it wasn't her fault. Songfic to Blind by Lifehouse. One-Sided IggyxMax


**Author's Note:**

**This is a story about Iggy. (Um, duh.) But not in the way you might think. It spans most of his life, and tells you a lot more than the books do. But don't take it too seriously. Because Iggy's a bit OOC in here.**

**Reviews are nice.**

**And yes, I do realize that this is really long for one of my fics. It's also a one-shot.**

**But reviews are nice. Hehe.**

**Rory**

* * *

"Iggy. Iggy."

I opened my eyes and looked through the holes in the side of my cage. "Yeah, Max?"

She looked terrified. "Iggy, they took Fang and Nudgie," she murmured.

"They did?" I looked through the holes in the other side of the cage, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. Fang, the boy who was my age and had the cage next to mine, wasn't there. My heart sunk. "Oh, no. What are they doing to them?"

"I don't know," Max whispered. I turned back to peer at her through the holes. "I was still sleeping when they took them."

I wanted to cry. It was my fifth birthday that day, and I was scared. Fang was my best friend, the closest thing to a best friend I could have in the hellhole of that laboratory, and the white-coat men had taken him away. He could be dead now, and so could Nudge, the one-year-old girl who was in the cage above mine.

"Max," I said, trembling, "I'm scared."

"Me, too," she said. I could see her blue eyes through the darkness of the cages. She was so adorable. So pretty. "But I think that they'll come back. They're testing them for something."

I shook, but her words comforted me. "All right," I said. "If you say it'll be okay, then I know it'll be okay. Right, Max?"

She smiled at me, and I knew that she would protect me. "Of course it'll be okay, Iggy."

Suddenly, the doors of the lab opened, and the doctors came back in, carrying Fang – a small, darker boy who was curled into a ball – and Nudge – an even smaller toddler, slung over one guy's shoulder.

" - can't believe it," one of the guys grumbled. He was carrying Fang. "We brought the man two perfectly good specimens, but he won't do the stupid experiment because they don't _look_ like his other test subjects. Jerk."

"We can't question a greater mind like his," the other guy said. Suck-up. He set Nudge down on top of my cage. "Anyway, who knows? Maybe coloring and skin tone actually will have an effect on this experiment."

"Whatever," the other guy said, tossing Fang back into his cage. Max and I cringed. Fang was going to be really hurting the next morning, or whenever it was that he woke up.

"Well, just grab one of the fair-skinned ones," the second guy said. "He wanted a blonde one."

I gasped, and Max's eyes widened. "Iggy," she whispered.

"Max," I whispered back as the guy filled a tranquilizer. "Promise that I'll see you when I come back?"

She smiled at me. "I promise."

That was the first promise to me that Max ever broke. But I guess it wasn't her fault.

**I was young but I wasn't naïve  
****I watched helpless as he turned around to leave  
****And still I have the pain I have to carry  
****A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried**

"Iggy?"

I moaned. The tranquilizer had barely worn off. Whenever they did experiments on me, they had to use a lot of tranquilizers. I fought them too hard. So I wasn't too concerned when I couldn't see anything at first.

"Iggy, are you okay?"

It was Max's voice. Her voice was so pretty. "Yeah, I'm okay," I replied. "My head hurts. I have a really bad headache. But there's nothing else wrong."

"Oh, all right." She sounded a little bit worried. "They said something about the experiment going bad when they brought you back. They were really mad. Right, Fang?"

On the other side of me, Fang's voice agreed. "Really mad," he echoed.

I opened my eyes and looked up at the ceiling. "Nothing's wrong with me, guys. Don't worry." I frowned. "Hey. Why's it so dark in here?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Why's it so dark in here?" I repeated. "I can't see anything. Did they turn the lights off?"

Max's voice made it sound like she was about to cry. "No, Iggy. The lights are still on."

I didn't understand at first. "But – but that means - "

And then I did understand. And I understood that the last thing I ever saw – the last thing that I would ever see – was Max's blue eyes. They were so beautiful. And I would never get to see them ever again.

**After all this time  
****I never thought we'd be here  
****Never thought we'd be here  
****When my love for you was blind  
****But I couldn't make you see it  
****Couldn't make you see it  
****That I loved you more than you'll ever know  
****A part of me died when I let you go**

"Hey, Max?"

I could hear her wings rustling, so I knew that she was only a few inches to my left. "What is it, Ig?"

A smile spread across my face. "The sunset looks great, doesn't it?"

She paused. "Yeah. It's great."

It was the first time any of us had seen the sunset. Well, not that I could see it, really, it was more of a figurative thing for me, but still. We were free for the first time in our lives. And I was spending the first sunset of my life with Max.

I didn't understand the way I was feeling. I didn't understand why it was so important that I was with her. But for some reason, it was. It just felt like being with Max was the most important thing that I should have been thinking about.

She didn't seem as happy as the rest of us, though. We were celebrating – me, Fang, and Nudge especially. The other two weren't old enough to understand much. Max, though, Max was different. "What's wrong?" I asked. I was the only one who could tell when she was just pretending to be happy. I was the only one who could hear it in her voice.

"Nothing," she said.

"Right," I replied. "I don't believe you. Now tell me what's wrong, Max."

There was a heavy sigh. "It's almost too good to be true," she said quietly. "I'm so afraid that the guys from the lab will find us and take us back." Max curled herself up next to me. I could feel her wings brush against my arm. "I don't want anything happening to the flock."

"I know," I responded. I flexed my wings out to shield her for a moment. "Nothing will happen to us, Max. It's okay. We'll be fine. I promise."

She shifted. I could hear her jeans sliding against each other, against her cotton t-shirt. Even the creak of the denim as she pulled her legs up to her chest was audible to my ears. "All right," Max said softly. "If you promise."

I smiled. "I do."

There was a warm feeling in my chest that I just couldn't explain. But suddenly, I knew exactly what that warm feeling was, exactly what it meant, even though I was as young as I was.

I was in love with Max.

**I would fall asleep  
****Only in hopes of dreaming  
****That everything would be like it was before  
****But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting  
****They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor**

_I love Max._

That thought gave my life purpose. Even when Jeb disappeared. Even when we went on the run. No matter what happened, no matter what they told me, I knew that, because I loved Max, I could do anything. I was in love with the amazing, the incredible Maximum Ride.

And when you're in love, you don't care about anything else at all.

So after that, everything I did was about Max. I followed every word she said. I did anything she asked. When we discovered that Max-the-Mom couldn't cook worth a flying noodle, I learned how to make the best food this side of the Atlantic.

I didn't understand when she stopped talking to me as much as she used to. We used to be close, when we were still in that godforsaken lab. Once we left, though, and just after my thirteenth birthday, she stopped paying so much attention to me. She stopped coming to me with her problems. She wouldn't come talk to me at night.

It made me so frustrated, I thought I'd explode. I couldn't spy on her, either, to find out why she wasn't hanging out with me anymore. If I asked my best friend Fang to do it for me, he would've asked me why.

There was only one solution in my mind: I had to piss her off as much as possible. Because even getting her pissed off at me would have been better than having nothing at all.

That was when I learned to make bombs. I'd known for a while how to do it, but I'd stopped because Max didn't want me teaching Gazzy that kind of thing. So that's when I pulled out all the stops: Molotov cocktails, electronic detonators, nepalm – you name it, I'd figured out how to make it.

I thought it was pointless for a while. Then Max found out.

We'd never had a single argument before, so I didn't know how scary it was when her yelling was directed at me. "Iggy, how could you do this?" she screamed. She'd thrown the door of her room open as I walked past. "How could you?"

"How could I – what?" I asked, pretending to be innocent. I wanted her attention, didn't I? I had to have it for all it was worth.

"You – teaching Gazzy – you know what I'm talking about!" she yelled. "I asked you over and over and over again not to teach Gazzy or Angel how to blow things up, how to kill people with _bombs._ But did you listen to me? No!"

I stiffened. "Jeb taught all of us how to kill people with nothing but our own bodies."

"That's got nothing to do with you doing something I specifically told you not to do," she said tersely. "I can't believe you'd do something like this, Iggy. I thought I could trust you."

Those six words cut straight through my skin, straight down to my heart. I turned and walked away. When I was sure she couldn't see me, I started running.

_I thought I could trust you... I thought I could trust you... I thought I could trust you..._

I locked myself into my room. I ignored Fang when he tried to find out why I hadn't come to dinner, and I told Gazzy to leave me alone.

I'd really screwed things up this time.

**After all this time  
****I never thought we'd be here  
****Never thought we'd be here  
****When my love for you was blind  
****But I couldn't make you see it  
****Couldn't make you see it  
****That I loved you more than you'll ever know  
****A part of me died when I let you go**

"Listen, Iggy," Max was saying, completely ignoring my self-pity party. I never feel sorry for myself, but I just couldn't take it anymore. This stupid – this – well, let's just say that I have more of a reason than anybody to hate those friggin' scientists from the School. Max was taking none of it. She'd sent everyone else away so she could tell me off in person.

Or say goodbye, have fun sitting here while the police come get you and send you back. Even though I was acting like a baby, I really didn't want her to say that.

"I'm sorry about tonight." Max sounded stressed, and very tired. "I know how disappointed you are. We're all disappointed. And I'm sorry you're blind. I remember when you weren't, and I can't even imagine what it's like to lose that. I'm sorry we're mutant bird kids, I'm sorry we don't have parents, I'm sorry we have Erasers and people trying to kill us all the time."

Yeah, thanks, Max. I'm sorry about that, too.

"But if you think I'm going to let you give up on us now, you've got another thing coming," she continued, oblivious to my mutinous thought processes. "Yes, you're a blind mutant freak, but you're _my _blind mutant freak, and you're coming with me, _now_, you're coming with _us_ right _now_, or I swear I will kick your skinny white ass from here to the middle of next week."

I raised my head. What did she mean, I was _her_ blind mutant freak? If she was playing with me, I was going to pitch a hissy fit so big that the police would wish they'd never signed up at the academy.

Then she said the words I'd waited to hear all my life.

"Iggy, I _need _you. I _love_ you."

My attention sharply cut off. I was flying with my feet on the ground. I was high. I was drunk. I was in heaven.

"...now get up, before I kill you."

I stood, and I didn't mind it at all. "Well, when you put it that way..."

I didn't mean the killing-me part. I meant the needing-me-loving-me part.

**After all this why  
****Would you ever wanna leave it  
****Maybe you could not believe it  
****That my love for you was blind  
****But I couldn't make you see it  
****Couldn't make you see it  
****That I loved you more than you will ever know  
****A part of me died when I let you go  
****That I loved you more than you'll ever know  
****A part of me died when I let you go**

Who would've thought that four words could have sealed my fate? Or at least the destiny of my happiness, anyways.

"_I'll go with Fang._"

I shouldn't have done it. I should never have said it. I never should've left Max. But did I seriously have much choice? Fang and I had been talking about Ari. Fang hated Ari. Ari had almost _killed_ Fang. Neither of us had any reason to trust the Eraser.

Why was Max trusting him? Could she possibly – you know – _like_ him?

Ew. Not to mention completely against my life goals.

So I chose Fang. I don't think anybody could hear a thing in my voice, but I thought I'd split apart right there. Choosing between the girl I loved and my best friend.

Nudge chose to stay with Max. No surprises there. She loved Max, worshiped the ground she walked on and the air she breathed. Secretly, of course, the way we all did. Angel and Gazzy were quiet for a while. I was almost positive that they were debating something. I thought as hard as I could towards Angel. _Angel, please go with Max. Please. Take care of her for me._

And then Gazzy chose Fang, and Angel chose Max, and I knew that they'd be okay.

Then for my next mission. Fang had been acting real weird lately. Not just Fang-weird. So completely weird that even a blind mutant freak like me would notice and comment on it.

So our first night away from the girls, as soon as I could hear Gazzy's breathing go slow and shallow in his sleep, I cornered Fang. And I mean literally cornered: we were spending the night in an old water treatment facility on the coast, and I grabbed the front of Fang's shirt and walked forward until I felt his body slam into the wall.

At least, I _hoped_ it was the front of Fang's shirt. Otherwise, I might've had a minor issue on my hands.

"Tell me something," I said, keeping my voice low so I wouldn't wake up Gazzy. I kept my face as close to Fang as I could without being in danger of... actually ramming my face into his. "Tell me what's up."

"What's up?"

Fang has a way of avoiding people's questions. He's actually pretty good at it, when the person asking the question isn't me. "Yeah, Fang. What's up?"

To my relief, I could feel his breath on my face, and I could hear his heart start beating even faster than usual, the beads of sweat rolling down his face. Sweat made a different sound going down Fang's face than Max's, which is something I've never told anybody. I think, though I'm not sure, that it's because he has to shave his face, and Max doesn't have a beard.

"I don't know what you mean, Ig," he snarled in my face. "What's up? Huh, I don't know. Maybe because I just walked away from my flock because the girl I trusted leading me stabbed us all in the back?"

"Maybe," I snarled back. We've had alpha-bird fights before, and neither one of us yields. "Is that your final answer?"

I could feel his eyes on mine, and I glared straight back at him with as much of a scowl as I could muster. His chest was still tensed, and he was trying to tower over me. My fist tightened, pulling his t-shirt taut.

Finally, he sighed. "I'll tell you, but I don't want anybody else to know."

"All right."

"It's a long story. Sit down."

We both slid to the ground, and I moved to press my back against the wall next to Fang. The feathers of his wings rustled, and he smelled different, like worry. Funny thing, the smell my flock-mates give off when they're worried or stressed.

He took a deep breath, and his clothes strained with the effort. Every sensation seemed sharper than usual. "It all started when we were on that beach," he said slowly.

I raised an eyebrow. I knew which beach. Something happened that nobody would talk about – something that either Fang or Max did. I was starting to think Fang screwed up majorly.

Then a second later I died.

"Because that day, on the beach, Max kissed me."

I was stunned. Max kissed _Fang_?

"There's been a lot of stuff going on since then," Fang went on. I took it all in silently, unable to speak. "When we were at Anne's, and going to school, she got pissed to hell when Lissa kissed me." I could practically hear his face turning red. And no, folks, I couldn't _actually _hear his facial capillaries flooding. "I'm sure you remember that incident."

My snort probably wasn't necessary. After Fang told me and Gazzy about it, we'd teased him for weeks. And made him describe it over and over again every single night before we went to bed.

"Well, she went on that date with _Sam._ And that pissed me off to hell." As it did we all, Fang. "I don't know what's going on, Ig. I don't understand it fully myself. Since then, I – I kind of kissed her, too. Remember when we tried to convince Max to settle down and let us make a house of some kind? Well, I kissed her then to try and – you know – convince her."

Great. Just great. "Obviously, it didn't work," I remarked dryly.

"Yeah. I know." He didn't sound pleased. "But after that, she kind of threw herself off a cliff so she wouldn't have to kiss me again."

The bitterness in his voice was catching, although I did perk up slightly. Then I thought, _What kind of bastard rejoices in his best friend getting dissed_? Then I decided: _A blind mutant bird freak bastard._

"I just don't understand her," Fang growled. "When Dr. Martinez took the chip out of her arm, she was going on and on about how much she loved me - " Insert Iggy puke fest here, please " - and the next thing I know, she's mad at me again. Why are girls so complicated?"

I shrugged, having not gotten over my Iggy Puke Fest yet. "Girls suck," I said noncommittally.

"Yeah. I guess." Fang slouched a little, and his arm and wing relaxed against mine. "I just wish she'd stop giving off mixed signals. She cares about me, I know it, but I don't see why she has to go back and forth for."

Then, his tone changed. He went from dejected to pleading. "Iggy, you gotta help me."

"What?" I said, alarmed.

"Please?" Fang asked. I'd say begged, but Fang does not beg. "You and Max are close. You know a lot about her. Please help me."

I bit my lip. That is not like me, but I did. And what I did next, I will probably regret for the rest of my life. "Max is stubborn," I said slowly. "If you seriously love her, you have to be patient with her. And when your patience wears thin, you have to completely abandon it and go for the direct approach. It's like when I had to stop her from cooking. I dropped very subtle hints for five weeks until I just gave up and hit her over the head with a rolling pin when she tried making us burned pancakes for breakfast again."

Fang was quiet for a minute, and I ranted in my head about how stupid I was. Then, my best friend told me, "You're right. Thanks." His voice was quiet, and I knew how much it hurt him to have to ask another guy for help.

And I didn't hate myself quite so much then.

He fell asleep a little bit after that, still sitting next to me. He actually leaned over and fell asleep on my shoulder, the way we used to do when we were little kids. I opened my eyes as wide as they'd go and stared up at the ceiling.

Well, I didn't really stare at the ceiling. I kind of couldn't do that.

But I thought for the rest of the night. _Max, I love you. But I love you so much that I want you to be happy, even if it's not with me. I want Fang to make you happy. Because he's a good guy, and he'll make you happy someday._

That was the day I let go of the incredible, indestructible Maximum Ride. And that was the day that I let a part of my heart die.


End file.
